Perks

currently reading the perks of being a wallflower. not quite sure why i haven't gotten my hands on this book earlier, but i'm really glad flo owns a copy of it because it's just a lovely book. perhaps charlie's letters would have meant something different to me if i had read them back in high school or perhaps if i did read them before, i can extract something more from the stories now than i would have then. either way, i want to share this passage because it reminds me of some recent conversations with friends:

"It's like when you are excited about a girl and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple, and they make you so mad. And all you want is to always feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means that you're happy, too."

let's be honest, at this stage in our twenty-something lives, the topic of relationships and love hardly ever escape the center of conversations. as i embarked on what some friends have called a "gutsy and ballsy" decision to move to nyc, i was really just starting to figure out how i want my life to be like and to explore new experiences. yet, there are a handful of young, twenty-somethings who are ready to settle down and get married/have settled down and gotten married. part of me cannot fully comprehend how they can already know what they want in life since they're so young while another part of me wonders whether the problem is me - maybe i should already know or want that lifestyle; maybe i need to figure my shit out soon before the train leaves the station. how can someone my age already have two kids while i don't even know where i'm going to be living come september?

i'm never one to get on a track in life, yet i'm not a complete risk-taker either. i calculate my gains and losses before jumping into something new, and this move to nyc was probably one of the biggest decisions i've made for myself, tittering on a mountain of uncertainties. in a weird, comforting way though, i think i'm okay with the mysteries that life may bring as of now. anyway, just some rainy day ramblings. life sure is like a box of chocolates.