wrapping up 2009

something wonderful happened today that just tied 2009 together in a nice bow. nothing grand and life-changing (well, potentially life-changing, depends how you look at it), but a simple conversation with an old friend that brought back some level of peace and sanity. a lot has changed in the past year - a few new presidents around the world, moving across the continent, switching jobs, not having a job, loved ones getting engaged, babies growing up - whether big or small, i guess these changes will never stop.

today was one of those days that reminded me of where i come from. there will always be changes, but it is up to us to hold onto what is important amidst this crazy world we live in. old friends, new friends, good friends, not-so-good friends: these are the people that make us who we are. time is too precious to be wasted on judgments, and despite the eye-rolls i get every time i say this, i'm going to insist that i AM getting old; we are all getting too old too quickly to be dwindling on the what-if's and the what-should-be's of the past. let's start building on the what-could-be's of the future, shall we?

2009 has been a year of ups and downs and like all the years before, it has been a year of learning and growth. here's to ringing in 2010 with a peace of mind that my friends and family are healthy and happy.

:)

M.I.A.

it's funny to read the last post about the "coldest" day of the season...because when i left the city on wed, it was 25 degrees and feels like 7....

besides the weather, something else also changed in the past month. CONGRATUALTIONS ON THE ENGAGEMENT, JESSE & JULIE!














the happy couple, 11.28.09

welcome to the family, julie :) check out their site: http://perfecttogether.us/. i'm not going to lie, you might throw up in your mouth a little, but will still begrudgingly think it's really cute and clever ;)

in other news, i've escaped the upcoming blizzard this weekend in nyc, so bay area friends, let's play!! i have a lovely list of restaurants to hit up, and first and foremost is pho. anyone?? i know you guys are always up for some pho coma. see you all soon!

happy holidays :)

the fall

it has been a cold two days in new york city - probably one of the coldest days we've had so far this fall. with the weather changing, so has the wardrobe. as much as i complain about the cold, i secretly love this weather because of the coats, boots, scarfs and gloves :)

this is one of my favorite times of the year too, this period right after halloween and leading up to thanksgiving. for the first time in years, i'm spending thanksgiving with my family in ca! and of course, that means going back with an empty suitcase to stock up with more coats and scarfs to last through the winter.

we have yet to utilize our patio space since moving in, and now i'm already thinking about the cost of getting a gas heat lamp... do not doubt, my friends, we WILL be drinking beer out on the patio in the middle of winter, wrapped in warm clothing from head to toe.

happy halloween!

despite the rain, i have a feeling it's going to be a night to remember - my first halloween in nyc! after hand-sewing and slaving away for hours because i'm too lazy to go across town to buy a glue gun, my costume is ready and i'm just excited about the festivities :) i'll post photos from tonight later, but for now, i want to share the new indoor slippers i got from amazon:



















you know you want them too ;)

Look at my hole!

i thought i would share some photos of the tiny teeny hole that is my room. don't get me wrong, i love my hole, but it was quite a challenge to take these photos seeing as there is not much moving room to create enough distance from the camera to capture the entire room....

this is what you see from the door (no, the really cool friends did not come with the room):














from another angle:


















yes, there is a lot of exposed bricks:














angle from the bed:














all in all, small and cozy :)

thankful and grateful

this post is coming a month earlier than it should, but i figured it never hurts to count the blessings in my life and remind myself just how lucky i really am.

today was one of those really wet, stormy, gross new york days. the rain never stopped since 9am this morning, and only foreshadows a cold and long winter looming in the near future. and despite a tiring work week and another one creeping up just around the corner, i am thankful for having a job that i enjoy doing, a loving and healthy family, good friends that are practically family, and for living in a city that embraces endless possibilities.

tomorrow is the 3 year anniversary of a friend's passing. she pops into my mind every so often, and although we had fallen out of touch since hs, she was one of the few people that i know that just LOVED life. she was always that girl who laughed too loud, but her laughter was so infectious and everyone who knew her would agree with me that you couldn't help but want to be a part of that energy when you are around her. the strange thing is her name randomly showed up on my facebook homepage tonight - facebook had suggested that i should write something on her wall. the years have passed by so quickly that i had forgotten the date that she passed. as i read through her fb wall, memories and emotions from the day when i found out to her funeral all came rushing back to me. the funny thing is, i didn't feel sadness as i scrolled down the page, but rather, felt a desperate need to really live my life to the fullest and hold onto the things and the people that matter.

RIP A.N. you were truly an example of life, love and growth, and we are all very lucky to have known you.

californians in new york city

it has been a long and busy three weeks with moving, the job, and getting settled into my place. despite the sometimes long hours at work and the minor (sort of) mice problem we've been having in the apartment, i really have to say that i am liking the new job and adore our little cozy nyc apartment.

the people i work with, my immediate team, are lovely. we are an 8-men production team lead by a wonderfully patient producer (truly rare in this industry) and a decisive, sharp creative director (again, another rarity). sometimes the hours are long because i work a full day and then come home to have late-night conference calls with editors in taiwan, but in general, there is always a moment everyday when i just have to stop myself and think, "i can't believe people get paid to do this!" the department is within a bigger company, but i'm lucky in that our team is close and already, i really enjoy the people that i work with (takes me back to those better chinese days!)

so i was going to post some photos of my little room that i call home, but blogger is being quite difficult, so i'll get to that next time.

in those photos, you would have seen some good friends from california. two girls, floria and angie, i've been friends with since 6th grade and the guy, veyom, is one of my current roommates and friend since high school. it's funny how we all ended up here in nyc, but really, it's a blessing in my life. i've often said to my mom and friends in ca that without good friends and a support network, this can be a very lonely city. it is only knowing that i have great friends to tie me through the tough times that i can embrace the solitude that this city provides.

you'll see in those photos that we were hovering over my laptop. yes, we were watching youtube videos of 90s music videos for 4 hours last night and yes, we did that all night and loved it. we sure brought back all the goodies (janet, TLC, michael, mariah, n'sync, bbb, 98 degrees) and some not-so-good ones (again, n'sync, bbb, 98 degrees...), and although we never stepped out of the 450 sq-ft space that is the apt (mostly because it was 35 degrees outside) and we hardly even moved from my bed (because my bed is basically the entire room), i haven't laughed so hard and had so much fun in quite some time.

here's to good friends from the past, present and for many more years into the future :)

back on track

i guess i have a tendency to slack off and fall off the face of the virtual world whenever i take a trip somewhere. the past two week have been pretty exciting, anxious, intense and relaxing all at the same time. i started a new job this past monday, and so far, so good. in brief, the job is a post production coordinator position at a lifestyle and travel media company, and the production team oversees shoots around the world and works with editors to broadcast on tv and to stream online. it has only been two days, but i'm already liking the team and working environment quite a lot.

i want to take a step back though, and focus this post on my recent trip back to california. it's definitely interesting to go back to a place that you have just left 3 months ago, and see how much things have changed/are changing. on the surface, there are some physical changes - a bed pushed to the unused corner of the room, stacks of papers and documents filed away in the closet or dvd boxsets collecting dust on the shelves. the uncertainties of my future when i moved to nyc in june had my brother in limbo as well - was he supposed to keep the clothes that i didn't bring with me in the closet of my old room? what about the posters, photos and postcards on display? are they staying up on the walls? jesse was graciously enough to keep the room 85% untouched, but i still couldn't help but note even the slightest difference from the way i left my room 3 and a half months ago.

wistful is the word i think i was looking for. as silly as this will sound, i was suprised to find a part of me feeling wistful by the fact that the people in my life in ca (family, friends, old coworkers) have continued to live their lives, moving forward without my being around. of course they were going to keep moving forward - what was i thinking? on a logical level, i completely understood that, which was why my feelings took me off-guard as well. then, the feeling right after was a sense of relief, a good sense of relief (is there any other kind?) a relief knowing that we (said family member/friend/old coworder and i) can still be close friends/loved ones even when we are moving onto different paths and in different directions; that we can get past the physical changes we see in our immediate surroundings and hold onto the underlying emotional feelings of friendship and love.

points of change in my life have always been demarcated by a change in location; from the philippines to taiwan back to the philippines, then to california, illinois, back to california and now new york. with each move, i am that much more grateful for the friendships that i've made and the new people that i can take on-board with me to the next chapter of my life. on top of it all, i am grateful for my family for being my constant, my home. i cannot promise that this will be an exciting journey, but thank you for wanting to come along with me.

(i can promise turbulence along the way though, so you should strap in if you're coming along.)

small children

as i collapsed on the grass after a one-mile run yesterday (i'm thoroughly out of shape...), i couldn't help but watch this boy play in the long jump sand pit. he must have been no more than 4 or 5 years old, and was very meticulously filling his right shoe with as much sand as he possibly could. the catch was, his right shoe was, in fact, one of a pair of sandals, so whenever he thought the sandal was completely filled and was ready to be brought to his father, he would pick it up, and half of the sand in the sandal would fall out. still, he patiently sat down and attempted to do it all over again. the second time, he was much more careful as he picked up the sandal - keeping his hands steady. unfortunately, a bit of sand still escaped him, so he sat back down to fill the sandal back up again. he continued to do this a few times until he finally got it right, and slowly, steadily and proudly brought his trophy to his father with a big smile on his face.

(i, of course, watched like a creepy stalker this whole time and quickly looked away in the other direction when his father's gaze suspiciously met mine and our eyes locked for a brief half a second...)

the point is, i'm sure everyone has had that moment as they watch children play and learn and think to themselves what a miracle a child's life is. a colleague used to describe it so perfectly: it really is incredible that children have this natural ability to soak up knowledge like a sponge and a pure sense of curiosity for the world around them.

i am by no means ready to have children, and this is not one of those posts during which i confess that my biological clock is ticking. no, no. but i do have to admit that this is probably the biggest part i will miss about my old job - to know that what i was doing was, hopefully, making a difference in education (even in the smallest, tiniest bit).

i started watching the west wing a few days ago and have been hooked. in the show, sam seaborn, the deputy communications director, says something along the lines that for the majority of americans, education is prioritized as the most important issue in politics. of course, leave it up to me to quote a fictional tv show for facts, but i have no doubt that that is the truth. at least, i want to believe that that is true. somewhere and somehow down the road, i certainly hope that my path and career will cross again with education.

strange encounters

just want to share some funny/bizarre encounters i had today:

1. the place where i'm interning is thinking about moving offices, so a lot of office furniture/movers have been calling us day and night. most phone calls are normal and straightforward, but this one call that i received this morning was just too strange to not share. from the moment i picked up the call, the woman on the other end of the line insisted on calling me 'honey', which normally would seem odd, but i'm generally okay with it since it is the entertainment business and let's face it, people are strange. then she asked for my name and digressed on a tangent saying that she has a cousin named isabel too, how her and her estranged cousin haven't spoken in years and this is what happens when life gets in your way, etc etc - which is slightly irritating but understandable since some salespeople just like to small talk. fine, i get it. THEN towards the end of the conversation (i couldn't get her to stop talking, so yes, this sales call became a conversation), she mentioned that i sounded like a famous person. i thanked her politely to get off the phone, but she said, "do you want to know who?" and i sighed and said, "suuure" and she said "you sound just like jennifer tilly." now, i was thinking, great...the woman has gone off the deep end. but no no, she was not done yet. she said "remember that movie she did when she was much younger? what's that movie called? oh yeah, bride of chucky! you sound just like her from that." at this point, i didn't know whether to laugh or feel insulted because i was started to feel like i was getting punked. again, i politely chuckled and said, "ha..ha.. alright well, can you follow-up with us next week...." but she ignored me and continued, "and remember that part at the end? do you remember the movie? how she became a doll at the end and says (note: she actually changes her voice here to imitate jennifer tilly aka tiffany, the bride of chucky) 'barbie, eat your heart out~' remember that?? oh i LOVED that part."

i'm not even going to comment. i'll just leave you with that.

2. has anyone seen this? brought to you by fredflare.com:
















can i be the first to say that i think it's way awesome?? i saw this today in neon orange, attached to an iphone, in the hands of a businessman in a full suit. perfection.

until next time!

never worry about things that are out of your control

these past few post-college years have been filled with many moments of uncertainties and questions - not just for myself, but also for close friends around me. on more than one occasion, i've said the above statement in a reassuring tone to good friends, in hopes that they can refocus their energy on the things that are within their control and keep their minds off of the things are beyond their control. for me, i've gotten accustomed to that feeling of panic that creeps up on me every few weeks, knowing that as long as i focus on the tasks at hand, that feeling will eventually pass. i guess this is what has been dubbed the "quarter-life crisis". i find myself among a generation of very fortunate twenty-somethings who have a world of possibilities in the palms of our hands. ironically, it is this abundance of possibilities that seems to paralyze us from moving forward with our lives sometimes.

maybe it is not so much worrying about the things that are out of our control that makes us nervous, but rather realizing that there are more things out of our control than we are comfortable with. with a world of possibilities, sometimes each opportunity seems to rely on the realization of another opportunity, and there are times when i just want to lay it all out there and say that i'm just not ready to make these decisions! what i end up doing is attempt to prepare all that i can so i can cover my bases. in the case that option #1 doesn't work out, at least i still have options #2-4 to hold me over. i feel like i'm playing a slow game of process of elimination in hopes that something will stick before my options run out.

our parents were getting married and having children by our age - something i cannot even begin to fathom at this stage in my life, but what they had was a clearer path of what they are supposed to do. well, what am i supposed to be doing then? i have no doubt that's the question a lot of us are trying to answer, and at the end of the day, we have to answer to our decisions. when i was younger, whenever i did something wrong, i wouldn't be frightened about being punished by my parents, but rather, i was more frightened about disappointing them, knowing that i did something that they would not be so proud of. now that i have to answer to myself, perhaps it is the thought of disappointing myself that scares me the most.

----

on a much lighter note: big, HUGE congratulations to GS/JB, one of the happiest couples that i know! it has been some time coming, but i am sure the journey is ALL worth it right? whether it is in love or in career, i look up to you two to know that there are successful, happy people in this world who are able to find what they are passionate about, inspire those who are around them and, best of all, able to share life's happiness with a significant other who is equally amazing :) i cannot wait to dance to 90's music on your special day!

move-in date: oct. 1

perhaps it was the finger-crossing or perhaps the powers may be decided that it was our time, the stars aligned and we now have an apartment ready for move-in on october 1! for the past five days, we have looked at apartments all over downtown - east/west village, soho, lower east, and up to gramercy. there were a few in which we grunted "hmm eh okay..." but for the most part, they were all pretty disappointing. either the spaces were too small, the natural lighting too dim, the neighborhood isn't ideal, the building looks worn down or the prices are too high - there was always something wrong with it.

then we walked into this 3-br in the east village, one block away from union square. first of all, it is on the second floor - HUGE plus. i've been living on the 5th floor and my future roommates' current place is on the 6th floor, so let's just say, we all have buns of steel by now (not really, just sore, bad knees). then, the moment we walked into the apartment, i think the three of us shared a silent moment during which our hearts all skipped a beat. it is, by no means, a spacious apartment - the rooms are small (2 full-bed sized rooms, and 1 queen-bed sized room without a closet), but i'm just going to take a moment here to yell out...

WE HAVE A PATIO!

YES. a patio. our very own outdoor space to put a small table (beer pong, perhaps?) and chairs, pot plants, hang xmas lights, hang out and be merry in! maybe we are putting too much emphasis on this patio, but let's be honest, this city is so small and cramped with people that to have our own patio is like having a never-ending slice of that last piece of cheesecake in the box. on top of that, the unit is going to be newly renovated with stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops, marble bathroom, dishwasher and a washer/dryer if we choose to have it and oh, did i mention? A PATIO! :)

all in all, for the price that we negotiated down to, i think we are happy with the outcome. we are essentially giving up bedroom space to be in a desirable neighborhood, a clean and well-maintained building and in a unit with brand-new everything. hopefully we won't get sick of each other in that small space. we joked about having a 2-roommate-at-once-only rule for the common room, meaning one roommate has to always be out on the patio. let's hope that that stays a joke ;)

yes, i've been slacking...

i didn't realize that it has been three weeks since i wrote my last blog. sorry to all the loyal readers - all 5 of you ;) life has been pretty hectic with a short 1-week trip to taiwan, no access to internet and a final week of moving out of my east village hole of an apartment.

i promise i will update more in the coming days and will also have an extensive post about taiwan. in brief, it was my grandfather's 90th birthday, so the cheng side of the family had one big family reunion, complete with grandchildren and great-grandchildren. it was incredibly wonderful to see my extended family; i think the last time i saw everyone together was at least 5 years ago. one of my cousins' kids are already old enough to attend elementary school! still though, i have to admit, the idea of new york puzzled some of my relatives, leading to more questions and inquisitions - let's just say unemployment is not the hottest topic at family reunions. generally, everyone is supportive of my decision and excited for the possibilities; that is, if possibilities will soon transform into realities.

another big decision is the possibility of signing a one-year lease at a 3-br apartment in the east village. i do want to stay in nyc, and the reality of it both excites me and makes me nervous at the same time. i guess these nerves are a good sign though - making sure i will continue to focus on the objectives i had set out for myself before i moved here. i will need these nerves to stay on track, however unclear this track is.

apartment hunting has been, in short, a ridiculously painful process. not only are apartments in nyc all shapes and sizes, brokers and agents are a whole different human race to deal with. i think they rank up there in the skeevy scale with used-car salesmen. here's to hoping that in the next few days, i will have exciting updates to share. fingers crossed!

life without an ipod

so among all other mundane things in life, my nano broke over the weekend. the geniuses at the apple store diagnosed it as a hardware issue, saying that the keys have stopped responding. nothing's wrong with the actual ipod, i just need to get my keys replaced - for $79.

considering a brand new nano costs $149 and a shuffle is as low as $49, i thought it would be silly to get mine fixed for $79. instead, i decided to finally utilize the 5 GB of space left on my iphone, ordered a cheap armband from amazon, and will be using that when i go on my runs as an alternative.

the nano was a generous gift from my best friend back when the first nanos came out (since she put me in her last blog post, here's a shout out to hers! check it out) my broken nano sort of signified a stage of our lives coming to an end. as melodramatic as that sounds, she bought me the nano as a xmas present after starting her first full-time paying job. jan had graduated a year earlier and started working the summer of 2006. we had exchanged multiple presents growing up, but the nano was definitely a gift that was far beyond the budget of a college student. i remember being speechless and in awe because i couldn't remember a time when we gave each other such pricey gifts. beyond the price tag, it was a gesture of independence and adulthood- an indication that she is successfully supporting herself in the real world.

now fast-forward three years, she is in LA pursuing acting, and i'm looking for a job here in nyc. in terms of finances, i don't think either one of us today can compare with the times when we could afford to buy and give the more lavish presents. yet, perhaps this is a different kind of independence. i certainly hope that learning to cope with life's changes, finding our own paths and pursuing goals and dreams that we've set out for ourselves make up the other layers of adulthood that cannot be quantified with dollar signs.

life without an ipod is definitely more quiet than before. it's interesting how easily-accessible technology has drastically shortened our attention span and made us crave instant gratification. i think it's good to have this literal peace of mind from time to time. i don't think i can happily survive for long without music when i go running, but at least for the next few days, i can hear myself think when i'm on the track.

a healthy dose of homesickness

i bought my plane ticket today for a short visit back to the bay in september. strangely enough, a few hours later, a small inkling of homesickness crept up on me while i was studying at starbucks. perhaps it was the soft acoustic jams they always play at starbucks or it was a reminder of the familiarity of suburban san jose/milpitas - i started to miss home for the first time.

for the past two months, i've been waiting for homesickness to descend upon me, and have been pleasantly surprised that it hasn't. i even told a few friends that i felt a bit guilty that i haven't been homesick since moving. i love the accessibility of this city, the bustling streets, the anonymity and even the cramped spaces, and have definitely missed my family and close friends in california, but have yet to feel nostalgia for the bay area, itself. until today.

i don't think it's the novelty of this city wearing off, but rather, an appreciation for where i came from and where i'll always call home. most people who grew up in the bay will probably agree with me that there is a level of comfort and security about the place that nowhere else can replace. i always find it interesting that the bay area is both a safe place to settle down and yet, is also the epicenter of technological change. all in all, i'm looking forward to the trip home, and will always be proud to be from the yay area :)

the real nyc apt experience

two events this week sum up the real nyc apt experience: 1) a 24-hr blackout and 2) killing a giant cockroach.

it all started on tuesday when our electricity cut out at about 3:30pm. my first reaction was that we blew out the power (wouldn't be a wild guess, considering every time a hair dryer is turned on, the lights in the entire apt dim...), but none of the switches in the breaker box had flipped to off, so i thought perhaps it was just temporary and that the power would be back soon. clearly, i had more faith in this city's utilities service than i should.

the calling-our-management-then-waiting game started at 4:30pm and didn't end until 4pm the next day. pretty much, i was calling the building manager every 2 hrs until we went to bed, and resumed again the next morning. electricians were sent over on 3 separate occasions, and my 24 hours were consumed by sitting and staring at the wall in our heated apt and running back and forth to starbucks to charge my phone and computer. long story short, power eventually came back, and when i called the management, complaining and voicing our frustration and inconvenience, i was told to "email propertymanagement@jakobson.com with my comments and suggestions".

....i almost threw my phone out the window.

then this morning, we found a HUGE cockroach lurking in our bathroom behind the toilet. at first, i couldn't see the cockroach, so i grabbed the closest spray bottle (thank you, air freshener) to "smoke" it out from behind the toilet. in between screaming like little girls and calling my parents for cockroach-killing advice (which my dad found hilarious and announced it to the entire group of family friends he was with...), floria and i devised a plan - i would stand guard and watch it while she ran to walgreens to get something deadly. the plan worked and we sprayed the roach with so much raid that, five hours later, our apt still smells like a strange mix of floral air freshener and chemical poison.

here's a photo. for those of you who know my mouse story, this is part two of my saga with household pests. please note that there is nothing to compare the size of the roach with, but do take my word that it was at least 2 1/2 inches long.

Some films from AAIFF '09

thanks to michelle for commenting and following my endless ramblings :) here are the 3 films that i managed to catch at the festival:

• white on rice - dir. david boyle, released in USA
  "40-year-old Jimmy is growing up, or at least he's getting older. While mooching the upper bunk of his ten-year-old nephew's bed, he enjoys the never-ending generosity of his sister Aiko, and dodges the wrath of his impatient brother-in-law Tak. He thinks that if only he could get married all his problems would be solved. But when he falls head over heels for Tak's niece things only go from bad to worse." - from imdb.com.
  
  - i liked this one a lot. it has the clever writing and feel of away we go with a mr.bean-esque protagonist who gets into so much trouble that you just can't help but love and hate him at the same time. not to mention bob, the dry-humored, wise-beyond-his-years young boy (very much like olive from little miss sunshine) who is really more grown up than any of the adults in the film. you are bound to laugh out loud, tear up a little and take a piece of this family along.
  

• pastry - dir. risky liu, released in hong kong
  "The youngest in a long line of daughters traces the story of her life through the weddings of her sisters. As each member of the family comes to terms with her own womanhood, a simple egg tart becomes the anchor of their experiences and emotions." - from asianinny.com
  
  - if you understand cantonese, can read chinese subtitles or don't mind reading english subtitles (although i don't know how well they translate), check this one out. it definitely has the hong kong cinematic feel, but the genuine innocence and candid charm of the protagonist bring an indie spin to the film and draw the audience into some serious familial and social issues through a humorous narrative. if you love egg tarts or have an equivalent pastry in your culture, you'll also appreciate the symbolism of food in this film.

• fruit fly - dir. h.p. mendoza, released in USA
  "Filipina performance artist Bethesda moves into an art commune to search for her long missing biological mother. Along the way, she comes to realize that she just might be a fairy princess, fag hag, fruit fly." - from imdb.com
  
  - although this is a musical, the characters rarely break into song for no apparent reason. i found that the songs were well-written and purposeful - constantly moving the story forward. this is definitely a coming-of-age story about self-discovery, friendship, family and hope. mendoza introduced the film as being more asian and gayer than his first film, colma: the musical, but i actually didn't find that many references to race as opposed to sexuality. regardless, i think this film is really about people and life, with awesome shots of san francisco and some very catchy tunes. the singing is average and the recording can be more polished, but you will walk away feeling young, rejuvenated and hopeful about what the future may hold.

other films that i didn't watch but were well-received and recommended at the festival:

• formosa betrayed - dir. adam kane, starring james van der beek
• whatever it takes - dir. christopher wong
  
• children of invention - dir. tze chun
• li tong - dir. nian liu

there were also a ton of other films at the festival, so check them out here! these films are making their way around the festival circuits, so see if they are playing at a local theater near you :) support indie films!

AAIFF '09

wow, what a week! again, i really have to say, this nyc adventure never ceases to keep me on my toes. i started off the week with a sigh of relief that our series of visitors has come to a pause (don't get me wrong, i love visitors - refer to earlier posts) and that i can get back to a more regulated schedule of running, reading, studying and job searching. then, out of the blue on monday, i got a call for an interview for an internship at a post-production house that cuts movie trailers. long story short, i started to intern last week (the schedule is twice a week), and although i've only gotten a light taste of what the job entails, i'm already liking the place, the people and the projects a lot :)

anyway, this post is really about AAIFF '09 (the asian american international festival '09). check it out here. my plan was supposed to volunteer for the festival thursday through sunday, but the start of the internship changed up the plan a little bit, so i only got to volunteer yesterday and today. what a fun experience it was! the volunteers' responsibilities are pretty basic - guide the flow of traffic, direct guests and festival attendees to the theater, take tickets, answer questions, etc. the perks of volunteering are many fold - one being that we get to watch the films themselves. i wish i could have seen more films than i did, but the ones that i watched were all pretty great.

it is really wonderful to see that these films are addressing so many facets of the asian american and/or asian immigrant experience. i remember growing up in the bay area, and never really identifying with being "asian" as a group of people because with so many asians in california, it is only natural to be more specific about what kind of asian one is. however, when i went to college in the midwest, suddenly black hair and yellow skin became the ethnicity of asian, and for the first time, i had to learn to see that someone may not see any differences between the different asian cultures and that being 'asian' is a possible identity in the american society. that, of course, took a lot of getting used to (especially with the joint lifestyle changes that going to college half way across the country brought). then i got so used to being called asian and seeing the asian american studies major at school that when i watched these films about the asian american experience, it was so refreshing to see writers and directors narrate such distinct and unique stories of what it means to be asian or asian american.

asians come from so many different parts of the world that i can never say that i fully identify with what it means to be anything besides a first generation, taiwanese american who was born in the philippines, lived in taiwan and moved to the states at the age of 10. i think that it is so important and crucial to make sure that these unique experiences are shared; that we never forget the differences in the asian cultures. yes it is true that the reason we do dub ourselves as 'asian americans' is to give power to a group of minorities, and that that power comes from joining together and fighting for equality and recognition. i do believe in the power in numbers, but i also believe that what makes this 'asian american' minority group powerful is the different histories, cultures, traditions and experiences that our ancestors, we and future generations bring to the table.

the asian american (or in my case, chinese/taiwanese american) experience will always be evolving. what it means to be an asian immigrant is completely different from what it means to be a second generation asian american - there will never be one identity to latch onto. yet, i think that is the beauty of it all. it is the ability to keep an open mind about our cultures and heritage and to want to learn more about each other. evolution means redefinition, and i see this perpetual force to redefine ourselves as constant growth.

Perks

currently reading the perks of being a wallflower. not quite sure why i haven't gotten my hands on this book earlier, but i'm really glad flo owns a copy of it because it's just a lovely book. perhaps charlie's letters would have meant something different to me if i had read them back in high school or perhaps if i did read them before, i can extract something more from the stories now than i would have then. either way, i want to share this passage because it reminds me of some recent conversations with friends:

"It's like when you are excited about a girl and you see a couple holding hands, and you feel so happy for them. And other times you see the same couple, and they make you so mad. And all you want is to always feel happy for them because you know that if you do, then it means that you're happy, too."

let's be honest, at this stage in our twenty-something lives, the topic of relationships and love hardly ever escape the center of conversations. as i embarked on what some friends have called a "gutsy and ballsy" decision to move to nyc, i was really just starting to figure out how i want my life to be like and to explore new experiences. yet, there are a handful of young, twenty-somethings who are ready to settle down and get married/have settled down and gotten married. part of me cannot fully comprehend how they can already know what they want in life since they're so young while another part of me wonders whether the problem is me - maybe i should already know or want that lifestyle; maybe i need to figure my shit out soon before the train leaves the station. how can someone my age already have two kids while i don't even know where i'm going to be living come september?

i'm never one to get on a track in life, yet i'm not a complete risk-taker either. i calculate my gains and losses before jumping into something new, and this move to nyc was probably one of the biggest decisions i've made for myself, tittering on a mountain of uncertainties. in a weird, comforting way though, i think i'm okay with the mysteries that life may bring as of now. anyway, just some rainy day ramblings. life sure is like a box of chocolates.

HP!

i watched harry potter (finally!) last night with veyom and floria. i think this one is my favorite so far. although i did feel like it was a little long and slow at parts (ginny weasley, seriously??), the film looked great and did a good job for the big potter fans as well as people who are less familiar with the series. the characters are much more defined and developed now (luna lovegood, anyone? hilarious!), so their interactions in the film more closely reflect their relationships in the books. i won't go into details because i'm sure most have read critic's reviews. all i can say is that i'm totally excited to re-read the last book and cannot wait for the final movie!

let me leave you with this:

Greg Behrendt!

comedy show #3:

hilarious comedian, co-author of He's Just Not That Into You, and consultant on Sex and the City performed last night at comix. he was so funny that i don't think i stopped laughing for an hour straight. what was hilarious about the way he spoke was that his stories were really well constructed with a first act intro, second act build-up, climax, and conclusion. i think it has to do with his background as a writer. unlike other comedians who may be a bit all over the place with their jokes and ending jokes with one-liners, greg tells his stories, makes references to previous stories, and ties his entire act together.

here's a PG13-rated clip of him. there are more hilarious clips on youtube that are more vulgar and risque (look up "greg behrendt animal noises"). enjoy!

Old friends are the best friends

our friends from high school - shabbie, victor and shabbie's cousin, megan, are visiting us this week. we pretty much all grew up together from middle school (some even from earlier in elementary school), and have been friends through our awkward phases, silly high school drama, four years of college in different parts of the country, and post-college/quarter-life crisis until now. with these friends, we can just pick up where we left off any time and have a ton of fun doing absolutely nothing.

we were at a pub in chelsea last night when shabbie spotted a cute guy in black on the other end of the bar. granted it was dark in the room and the guy was at least 50 ft away with about twenty people in our line of vision, but we were on our second drink and he was pretty to look at. somehow looking turned into giggling, which then lead to shabbie and floria walking across the bar to talk to him. victor and i applauded their bravery, but were disappointed when they sat down at a table next to him instead of actually going over to talk to him and his friends. by now, vic and i thought maybe flo and shabs just need a little encouragement, so we called the bartender over, asked her what the guy in black at the other end of the bar had been drinking all night, ordered a vodka lemonade, sent it over to him and said it was from "the girl in grey" (did i mention floria was wearing a grey dress?). needless to say, a series of messily-scribbled napkin notes were passed back and forth (the bartender must have thought we were in middle school), laughter ensued, more drinks were consumed, and at last! "the girl in grey" and her friend, shabbie, went over to talk to "the cute guy in black" and his friends.

if we were living in a sitcom, the story would have ended with floria and shabbie having witty conversations with the two guys across the bar and a possible date or at least a potential friendship would have developed. but of course with our luck, the guys across the bar barely spoke any english, were out-of-towners from norway, and were not very good charades players.

it was fun, nonetheless, and quite hilarious for vic and me to witness, although i think i'm no longer on top of flo's list of wing women.

Arriverderci

by a stroke of fate, i sat next to a man named giovanni on the ride back to the city from the film shoot last monday. he grew up and went to school in florence, lived in rome for quite some time, and moved to nyc last september to work in costume and set designing. we grabbed a beer after we got into the city, and it was just really nice to talk to someone who is so open to sharing his life's stories - in a funny, sweet, very italian kind of way. we stumbled across the subject of learning foreign languages, and he said that he had been meaning to learn chinese for quite some time; he had learned some very basic cantonese from someone in chinatown, but was interested in learning mandarin. long story short, we arranged to meet yesterday so that i can teach him some beginner chinese and he will, in turn, teach me some beginner italian.

we spent about two hours learning and teaching at a coffee shop. it was the first time i taught chinese to someone whose native language is not english, and bottom line - it was just a ball of fun! giovanni's ear for pronunciation was surprisingly really good, and very quickly was able to pick up on various patterns and combination of words and phrases . then, it was my turn to learn italian, and i just LOVED the pronunciation and accents in the language. at first, i was a little embarrassed and nervous about accenting in italian because i didn't want to sound like i was stereotyping the italian accent (come on, we've all done it at italian restaurants at some point in time). but giovanni's encouraging and jovial nature put me at ease very quickly, and i guess there's a reason why the stereotypical italian accent exists ;)

we gave each other simple homework and review tasks, and hopefully we'll be meeting up at least once a week for the next month. i titled this entry "arriverderci" because giovanni explained that italians say arriverderci to mean good-bye, but the word breaks down to mean "to see us again" - just like what "zaijian" means in mandarin! it's just so exciting to learn a new language and culture :)

Sometimes, you just have to LOL

i always think typing "LOL" doesn't actually give justice to how much something/some comment amuses me, so i often prefer typing "haha" and expand on the number of "ha's" depending on how funny that something is. in truth though, laughing out loud in real life rocks.

floria was able to get discounted tickets to comix, a comedy club on the west side, for dirt cheap (granted, nothing in nyc is dirt cheap. the place still has a two-purchase minimum), and we went for a show on friday night. it was our second comedy club show this summer with headliner dov davidoff (http://www.dovdavidoff.com/). our first was at the comedy cellar - hilarious show with about 5 or 6 comedians. i think i laughed so hard that sangria almost came out of my nose. dov davidoff was funny as well, and overall, it was just good to laugh out loud.

clip of dov davidoff on jimmy kimmel:

This city is like one giant postcard.

it's really encouraging to hear from those of you who have read through this blog! just knowing that there is someone out there who may have bookmarked this page, and will perhaps have the urge to check up on it on a random saturday afternoon helps to feed my narcissism and will keep me blogging away; so thank you!

i know people like to see pictures, so i feel a little bit guilty about this post. here's my warning: there's no need to scroll down. there are no photos in this post, only verbose, hokey, life-reflecting crap, so feel free to check back another day ;)

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i went running at the east river park yesterday - one of the few parks in the city that has a track. it's about one mile from my place, and the track sits along the river, overlooking part of brooklyn and the brooklyn bridge. the view isn't particularly spectacular, but as i was taking a break on the grass, looking at the water and the bridge, i just couldn't help but feel the beauty in this city. yes, i just called new york city beautiful.

i have heard from many people that the novelty of this city eventually wears of and people "get over it" after some time, but hey, i'm going to soak up as much of it as i can while i'm still swimming in it. if i can capture every frame of what my eyes can see, i think that each snapshot can, literally, be on a postcard. of course, there are plenty of other cities with beautiful scenery and interesting architecture, but beyond that, this city captures history, diversity and culture in such an inexplicable way. from the tourist spots at central park, time square, and the statue of liberty to the dive bars of the east village to the people giving free hugs at union square park, there is just so much LIFE in this city that i wish i can capture it all, file away in my memory bank and hold onto it for years to come.

i hope this feeling will continue to last for quite some time. i also wish that i have a dslr camera with me at all times so i didn't have to spend $0.99 on each of those damn postcards.

Gross.

i found a dead cockroach in my closet today. it was the size of half of my palm.

enough said.

La vida es como una caja de chocolates...

someone wise once said, "life is like a box of chocolates. you never know what you're gonna get." someone (debatably) even wiser used to translate that phrase into spanish because, hell, things are always funnier when said with a spanish accent (hi james!).

"La vida es como una caja de chocolates...." we stopped translating there because 1) our american spanish education was limited and 2) we figured we've already butchered the language enough for our amusement.

this unpredictable nyc adventure really took an unexpected turn yesterday. i got to be an extra in an upcoming john cameron mitchell film! totally random - but really goes to show, in this business, it is completely about who you know.

the woman on the left is grace kahng, an old boss of mine. she's an emmy-winning producer who runs her own production company out of sf in investigative journalism and documentary segments for networks like msnbc, nbc and abc. grace is a great mentor and is the reason i was able to get this gig. BUT let's focus on the man on the phone here, mr. john cameron mitchell. for those of you who have seen hedwig and the angry inch (the movie), he's the director AND hedwig him/herself!

i knew he was the director of hedwig, but i didn't realize that he was also the star of the movie until i got home and imdb-ed him (shame on me, i know).

see the resemblance? yeah i didn't either. after banging my head on the wall a few times for being too slow to realize this fact on set, i re-watched the movie and downloaded the album, and was reminded of how brilliant of an actor and director john cameron mitchell is. in person, he's so sweet, friendly and soft-spoken with immense wit and a dash of twinkle in his eye. then, when the cameras are rolling, he is completely focused and sharp, but always making sure that the actors are comfortable with what they are doing and with exploring their characters. it was totally amazing to see him work as a director, and even more mind-blowing to watch hedwig again and see the actor behind the character.

needless to say, i have origin of love and wig in a box on repeat, and have youtubed every possible live performance of john singing these songs. goodness, such incredible talent and humble personality. what an honor to have met him. if you haven't seen the movie, go go go watch!

It's not official until it's on Facebook

it's funny (and silly) how our generation, and possibly generations above us too, has defined the parameters of social networking. do we even still remember how life was like before facebook, twitter, myspace, friendster (who still uses that anyway?), blogs, etc. entered the picture? our social interactions and, to some degree, our experiences are validated only when it is officially published on the web.

on that note:










i didn't know that you can only associate yourself with one region at a time on facebook. i find it hilarious that i had to exit the silicon valley, ca network before i can enter the new york, ny network. well, after one month here, i figured it's time to make it official.

The Fourth

this year's fourth was everything i had hoped it would be: beautiful, relaxing and on a rooftop. the day started off with a million uncertainties - what to do, who to meet up with, where to go, fireworks or no, etc. the thought of pushing our way through 8 million people on the piers was just not appealing, yet, floria, veyom and i have never seen fireworks in nyc, so secretly, i think we all wanted to go. and, let's be honest, it's just not in our nature to go stake out a spot 4 hrs beforehand.

good news came around 8:30pm when emily, a friend from college, told us about her friend who has a rooftop on the west side. we jumped on that invitation right away and below is the awesomeness that we witnessed:








































































i love that there's something about fireworks that just get people excited and giddy - young and old. as soon as the booming sounds go off, the ooooh's and ahhh's start. it brings people together in the simple enjoyment of beautiful colors and wonderment. in my opinion, they really should have fireworks more often :)

That fountain in Central Park

"oh yeaaah that one! the one that's in all the movies!" - nate.

i don't care how touristy or cliche or whatever it is you want to call that excitement i feel every time i'm in central park, i still have that stupid smile on my face whenever i'm there, rain or shine. perhaps it's just human nature to enjoy wide open spaces or maybe it really is because of the movies, the lure of central park still gets to me.

nate and i spent the afternoon walking through the park from the 5th ave. entrance by the 24 hr apple store (the mapple store, anyone?) to sheep meadow (a favorite thanks to veyom) to the fountain. an afternoon filled with strolls, naps, picture-taking and silly laughs with 75 degree sunny weather is more than perfect.

the last time i was at the fountain was in january earlier this year:














i remember looking at this at the time and promising to myself that i will live in this city at some point in my life - not thinking at all when that will ever happen.

now, fast-forward to today:














it's funny how much things can change in just six months. to be honest, i kind of prefer the winter photo over the summer one ;-) here's to new adventures!

Summer Visitors

not going to lie, it's pretty awesome to live in a place where people love to visit. my roommate and i are pretty much running a bed & breakfast for the next few weeks. we have a friend staying with us this week, and then three more are coming in a week and a half.

the perks of visitors:

1) i get to eat and play along with them without guilt.
2) relive all the tourist spots over and over again.
3) gives me a false illusion that i'm a new yorker.

NICE.

pictures will be posted soon!

Laundry Day

At last, after more than three weeks in NYC, I dragged myself to the laundromat today to do what was necessary. It's funny that what really made me feel like I'm really living in this city isn't the 32498034 people on the streets, the tiny teeny apartments, the plethora of restaurants/bars within a 5 block radius or even a level of comfort with the subway system, but rather, it's this simple fact: I'm not doing laundry in my own home.

As I watched the washers turn in circles, I had an urge to call/text/talk to someone living in California, to tell them, “Hey! Guess where I am?” I can even say that the novelty of it all was more exciting than my first trek on the subway to Central Park alone the third day that I got here. Growing up, my family has always been the do-everyone's-laundry-together sort, where the entire family's clothes get washed together, and chores of folding and ironing get divided up between my brother and me (although to be honest, Mama Cheng did most of it), so washing and drying just my own clothes was a stage in my life that only came with college. Still, college meant we were doing laundry in our own buildings among our peers. Today was different. It was mid-day in the east village, and there's something about folding my clothes and underwear between a Chinese grandpa and a big, burly man sporting a Harley Davidson cut-off shirt that made me chuckle to myself.

So after an hour and a half, two blocks and five flights of stairs, I have clean clothes to wear again. I'm just glad that I don't have to do laundry on the weekends with the rest of the employed population.