back on track

i guess i have a tendency to slack off and fall off the face of the virtual world whenever i take a trip somewhere. the past two week have been pretty exciting, anxious, intense and relaxing all at the same time. i started a new job this past monday, and so far, so good. in brief, the job is a post production coordinator position at a lifestyle and travel media company, and the production team oversees shoots around the world and works with editors to broadcast on tv and to stream online. it has only been two days, but i'm already liking the team and working environment quite a lot.

i want to take a step back though, and focus this post on my recent trip back to california. it's definitely interesting to go back to a place that you have just left 3 months ago, and see how much things have changed/are changing. on the surface, there are some physical changes - a bed pushed to the unused corner of the room, stacks of papers and documents filed away in the closet or dvd boxsets collecting dust on the shelves. the uncertainties of my future when i moved to nyc in june had my brother in limbo as well - was he supposed to keep the clothes that i didn't bring with me in the closet of my old room? what about the posters, photos and postcards on display? are they staying up on the walls? jesse was graciously enough to keep the room 85% untouched, but i still couldn't help but note even the slightest difference from the way i left my room 3 and a half months ago.

wistful is the word i think i was looking for. as silly as this will sound, i was suprised to find a part of me feeling wistful by the fact that the people in my life in ca (family, friends, old coworkers) have continued to live their lives, moving forward without my being around. of course they were going to keep moving forward - what was i thinking? on a logical level, i completely understood that, which was why my feelings took me off-guard as well. then, the feeling right after was a sense of relief, a good sense of relief (is there any other kind?) a relief knowing that we (said family member/friend/old coworder and i) can still be close friends/loved ones even when we are moving onto different paths and in different directions; that we can get past the physical changes we see in our immediate surroundings and hold onto the underlying emotional feelings of friendship and love.

points of change in my life have always been demarcated by a change in location; from the philippines to taiwan back to the philippines, then to california, illinois, back to california and now new york. with each move, i am that much more grateful for the friendships that i've made and the new people that i can take on-board with me to the next chapter of my life. on top of it all, i am grateful for my family for being my constant, my home. i cannot promise that this will be an exciting journey, but thank you for wanting to come along with me.

(i can promise turbulence along the way though, so you should strap in if you're coming along.)