back on track

i guess i have a tendency to slack off and fall off the face of the virtual world whenever i take a trip somewhere. the past two week have been pretty exciting, anxious, intense and relaxing all at the same time. i started a new job this past monday, and so far, so good. in brief, the job is a post production coordinator position at a lifestyle and travel media company, and the production team oversees shoots around the world and works with editors to broadcast on tv and to stream online. it has only been two days, but i'm already liking the team and working environment quite a lot.

i want to take a step back though, and focus this post on my recent trip back to california. it's definitely interesting to go back to a place that you have just left 3 months ago, and see how much things have changed/are changing. on the surface, there are some physical changes - a bed pushed to the unused corner of the room, stacks of papers and documents filed away in the closet or dvd boxsets collecting dust on the shelves. the uncertainties of my future when i moved to nyc in june had my brother in limbo as well - was he supposed to keep the clothes that i didn't bring with me in the closet of my old room? what about the posters, photos and postcards on display? are they staying up on the walls? jesse was graciously enough to keep the room 85% untouched, but i still couldn't help but note even the slightest difference from the way i left my room 3 and a half months ago.

wistful is the word i think i was looking for. as silly as this will sound, i was suprised to find a part of me feeling wistful by the fact that the people in my life in ca (family, friends, old coworkers) have continued to live their lives, moving forward without my being around. of course they were going to keep moving forward - what was i thinking? on a logical level, i completely understood that, which was why my feelings took me off-guard as well. then, the feeling right after was a sense of relief, a good sense of relief (is there any other kind?) a relief knowing that we (said family member/friend/old coworder and i) can still be close friends/loved ones even when we are moving onto different paths and in different directions; that we can get past the physical changes we see in our immediate surroundings and hold onto the underlying emotional feelings of friendship and love.

points of change in my life have always been demarcated by a change in location; from the philippines to taiwan back to the philippines, then to california, illinois, back to california and now new york. with each move, i am that much more grateful for the friendships that i've made and the new people that i can take on-board with me to the next chapter of my life. on top of it all, i am grateful for my family for being my constant, my home. i cannot promise that this will be an exciting journey, but thank you for wanting to come along with me.

(i can promise turbulence along the way though, so you should strap in if you're coming along.)

small children

as i collapsed on the grass after a one-mile run yesterday (i'm thoroughly out of shape...), i couldn't help but watch this boy play in the long jump sand pit. he must have been no more than 4 or 5 years old, and was very meticulously filling his right shoe with as much sand as he possibly could. the catch was, his right shoe was, in fact, one of a pair of sandals, so whenever he thought the sandal was completely filled and was ready to be brought to his father, he would pick it up, and half of the sand in the sandal would fall out. still, he patiently sat down and attempted to do it all over again. the second time, he was much more careful as he picked up the sandal - keeping his hands steady. unfortunately, a bit of sand still escaped him, so he sat back down to fill the sandal back up again. he continued to do this a few times until he finally got it right, and slowly, steadily and proudly brought his trophy to his father with a big smile on his face.

(i, of course, watched like a creepy stalker this whole time and quickly looked away in the other direction when his father's gaze suspiciously met mine and our eyes locked for a brief half a second...)

the point is, i'm sure everyone has had that moment as they watch children play and learn and think to themselves what a miracle a child's life is. a colleague used to describe it so perfectly: it really is incredible that children have this natural ability to soak up knowledge like a sponge and a pure sense of curiosity for the world around them.

i am by no means ready to have children, and this is not one of those posts during which i confess that my biological clock is ticking. no, no. but i do have to admit that this is probably the biggest part i will miss about my old job - to know that what i was doing was, hopefully, making a difference in education (even in the smallest, tiniest bit).

i started watching the west wing a few days ago and have been hooked. in the show, sam seaborn, the deputy communications director, says something along the lines that for the majority of americans, education is prioritized as the most important issue in politics. of course, leave it up to me to quote a fictional tv show for facts, but i have no doubt that that is the truth. at least, i want to believe that that is true. somewhere and somehow down the road, i certainly hope that my path and career will cross again with education.

strange encounters

just want to share some funny/bizarre encounters i had today:

1. the place where i'm interning is thinking about moving offices, so a lot of office furniture/movers have been calling us day and night. most phone calls are normal and straightforward, but this one call that i received this morning was just too strange to not share. from the moment i picked up the call, the woman on the other end of the line insisted on calling me 'honey', which normally would seem odd, but i'm generally okay with it since it is the entertainment business and let's face it, people are strange. then she asked for my name and digressed on a tangent saying that she has a cousin named isabel too, how her and her estranged cousin haven't spoken in years and this is what happens when life gets in your way, etc etc - which is slightly irritating but understandable since some salespeople just like to small talk. fine, i get it. THEN towards the end of the conversation (i couldn't get her to stop talking, so yes, this sales call became a conversation), she mentioned that i sounded like a famous person. i thanked her politely to get off the phone, but she said, "do you want to know who?" and i sighed and said, "suuure" and she said "you sound just like jennifer tilly." now, i was thinking, great...the woman has gone off the deep end. but no no, she was not done yet. she said "remember that movie she did when she was much younger? what's that movie called? oh yeah, bride of chucky! you sound just like her from that." at this point, i didn't know whether to laugh or feel insulted because i was started to feel like i was getting punked. again, i politely chuckled and said, "ha..ha.. alright well, can you follow-up with us next week...." but she ignored me and continued, "and remember that part at the end? do you remember the movie? how she became a doll at the end and says (note: she actually changes her voice here to imitate jennifer tilly aka tiffany, the bride of chucky) 'barbie, eat your heart out~' remember that?? oh i LOVED that part."

i'm not even going to comment. i'll just leave you with that.

2. has anyone seen this? brought to you by fredflare.com:
















can i be the first to say that i think it's way awesome?? i saw this today in neon orange, attached to an iphone, in the hands of a businessman in a full suit. perfection.

until next time!

never worry about things that are out of your control

these past few post-college years have been filled with many moments of uncertainties and questions - not just for myself, but also for close friends around me. on more than one occasion, i've said the above statement in a reassuring tone to good friends, in hopes that they can refocus their energy on the things that are within their control and keep their minds off of the things are beyond their control. for me, i've gotten accustomed to that feeling of panic that creeps up on me every few weeks, knowing that as long as i focus on the tasks at hand, that feeling will eventually pass. i guess this is what has been dubbed the "quarter-life crisis". i find myself among a generation of very fortunate twenty-somethings who have a world of possibilities in the palms of our hands. ironically, it is this abundance of possibilities that seems to paralyze us from moving forward with our lives sometimes.

maybe it is not so much worrying about the things that are out of our control that makes us nervous, but rather realizing that there are more things out of our control than we are comfortable with. with a world of possibilities, sometimes each opportunity seems to rely on the realization of another opportunity, and there are times when i just want to lay it all out there and say that i'm just not ready to make these decisions! what i end up doing is attempt to prepare all that i can so i can cover my bases. in the case that option #1 doesn't work out, at least i still have options #2-4 to hold me over. i feel like i'm playing a slow game of process of elimination in hopes that something will stick before my options run out.

our parents were getting married and having children by our age - something i cannot even begin to fathom at this stage in my life, but what they had was a clearer path of what they are supposed to do. well, what am i supposed to be doing then? i have no doubt that's the question a lot of us are trying to answer, and at the end of the day, we have to answer to our decisions. when i was younger, whenever i did something wrong, i wouldn't be frightened about being punished by my parents, but rather, i was more frightened about disappointing them, knowing that i did something that they would not be so proud of. now that i have to answer to myself, perhaps it is the thought of disappointing myself that scares me the most.

----

on a much lighter note: big, HUGE congratulations to GS/JB, one of the happiest couples that i know! it has been some time coming, but i am sure the journey is ALL worth it right? whether it is in love or in career, i look up to you two to know that there are successful, happy people in this world who are able to find what they are passionate about, inspire those who are around them and, best of all, able to share life's happiness with a significant other who is equally amazing :) i cannot wait to dance to 90's music on your special day!

move-in date: oct. 1

perhaps it was the finger-crossing or perhaps the powers may be decided that it was our time, the stars aligned and we now have an apartment ready for move-in on october 1! for the past five days, we have looked at apartments all over downtown - east/west village, soho, lower east, and up to gramercy. there were a few in which we grunted "hmm eh okay..." but for the most part, they were all pretty disappointing. either the spaces were too small, the natural lighting too dim, the neighborhood isn't ideal, the building looks worn down or the prices are too high - there was always something wrong with it.

then we walked into this 3-br in the east village, one block away from union square. first of all, it is on the second floor - HUGE plus. i've been living on the 5th floor and my future roommates' current place is on the 6th floor, so let's just say, we all have buns of steel by now (not really, just sore, bad knees). then, the moment we walked into the apartment, i think the three of us shared a silent moment during which our hearts all skipped a beat. it is, by no means, a spacious apartment - the rooms are small (2 full-bed sized rooms, and 1 queen-bed sized room without a closet), but i'm just going to take a moment here to yell out...

WE HAVE A PATIO!

YES. a patio. our very own outdoor space to put a small table (beer pong, perhaps?) and chairs, pot plants, hang xmas lights, hang out and be merry in! maybe we are putting too much emphasis on this patio, but let's be honest, this city is so small and cramped with people that to have our own patio is like having a never-ending slice of that last piece of cheesecake in the box. on top of that, the unit is going to be newly renovated with stainless steel appliances, granite counter tops, marble bathroom, dishwasher and a washer/dryer if we choose to have it and oh, did i mention? A PATIO! :)

all in all, for the price that we negotiated down to, i think we are happy with the outcome. we are essentially giving up bedroom space to be in a desirable neighborhood, a clean and well-maintained building and in a unit with brand-new everything. hopefully we won't get sick of each other in that small space. we joked about having a 2-roommate-at-once-only rule for the common room, meaning one roommate has to always be out on the patio. let's hope that that stays a joke ;)

yes, i've been slacking...

i didn't realize that it has been three weeks since i wrote my last blog. sorry to all the loyal readers - all 5 of you ;) life has been pretty hectic with a short 1-week trip to taiwan, no access to internet and a final week of moving out of my east village hole of an apartment.

i promise i will update more in the coming days and will also have an extensive post about taiwan. in brief, it was my grandfather's 90th birthday, so the cheng side of the family had one big family reunion, complete with grandchildren and great-grandchildren. it was incredibly wonderful to see my extended family; i think the last time i saw everyone together was at least 5 years ago. one of my cousins' kids are already old enough to attend elementary school! still though, i have to admit, the idea of new york puzzled some of my relatives, leading to more questions and inquisitions - let's just say unemployment is not the hottest topic at family reunions. generally, everyone is supportive of my decision and excited for the possibilities; that is, if possibilities will soon transform into realities.

another big decision is the possibility of signing a one-year lease at a 3-br apartment in the east village. i do want to stay in nyc, and the reality of it both excites me and makes me nervous at the same time. i guess these nerves are a good sign though - making sure i will continue to focus on the objectives i had set out for myself before i moved here. i will need these nerves to stay on track, however unclear this track is.

apartment hunting has been, in short, a ridiculously painful process. not only are apartments in nyc all shapes and sizes, brokers and agents are a whole different human race to deal with. i think they rank up there in the skeevy scale with used-car salesmen. here's to hoping that in the next few days, i will have exciting updates to share. fingers crossed!